My name is Blondina, and I am a model, welcome to the first instalment of my blog! The first thing you need to know about me is that I am a huge Vivienne Westwood fan. I have been a follower of 'The Dame' since I first made the pilgrimage to ‘World's End’, way back in the day when that was the only shop she had!

Oh yes I remember ‘punk rock’, the Pirate Collection, Rocking Horse shoes ,Harlequin and Columbine, Buffalo Girls, Sarah Stockbridge (my favourite model ever), The mini-crini, “Don’t you ever kiss me once kiss me twice”, Harris tweed, the man who forgot his trousers, and even the dame who forgot her pants at the palace!

Now I know I don’t look old enough to go that far back, let’s just say that good genes run in my family, and any way what’s lacking in nature can always be made up for with a good plastic surgeon! So age aside here I am, at the peak of my career now working as the Platinum Blonde showroom dummy; and I have to tell you it’s a job I love, for I am in Vivienne Westwood heaven! I spend all day surrounded by gorgeous Vivienne Westwood accessories, handbags with specially picked matching purses. The costume jewellery is to die for and there are delicious scarves made of silks, wool and fine linens, to wraparound my delicate neck; and now we have added Vivienne Westwood ‘Melissa’ shoes to our collection, What girl could ask for anything more?

There is a lot more to being a showroom dummy than one might think; apart from the usual requirements, flawless milky skin, exquisite cheek bones, and thighs to stop a truck, one must also have the ability to sit still for hours on end, gazing out at the high street, looking fabulous and giving the people of Coleshill something to aspire too!

I suppose you could say that I am a bit of a mentor, so I am going to make it my task to guide all you Vivienne Westwood fans towards, what’s in and what’s out?, what’s hot and what’s not?!!!

Lots of Love Blondina x

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

The Blonde, The Witch and her Wardrobe


Once upon a time, not very far from here there lived a beautiful blonde girl.  Her clothes and accessories were her most precious possessions.  She worked hard and saved for her designer labels and cherished the quality of her fabulous garments. She learned how to look after them, lovingly laundering, darning and mending them.

Her wardrobe was a gradually expanding, constantly evolving enterprise.  She had her own style, bought new and vintage but always quality.  Nearly every piece or garment represented a memory, every one of them special.



One day, whilst doing her favourite thing, re-arranging and sorting her dresses, handbags and shoes, she lingered momentarily over her mother’s favourite dress. She then moved further through her wardrobe, colour co-ordination her accessories as she went.  She felt a cool breeze across her face.  Was she mistaken?  There appeared to be a draught coming from the very back of the wardrobe.  She moved forward into the wardrobe pushing past the silk, wool and cashmere garments and felt colder and colder.  Her Vivienne Westwood pumps started to crunch on crisp, newly settled snow.

As she made her way out from the rails of clothes she could see the soft glow of a lamp post in the distance.  She found herself uncontrollably drawn towards it.

By the time she reached the lamp post her fingers had started to numb and she wished she had picked up her kid skin gloves from her wardrobe.

“She’s been waiting for you!” came a slurred but friendly voice. She turned to see a tiny Satyr stumbling around on his little hoofs, trying to keep his balance by erratically wafting his tail around. The sweat smell of Malibu on his breath and the half empty bottle, nestled in the snow provided the explanation for his party eyes.

“She’s is expecting you!” he echoed. “The Grand Fashion Witch requests an audience with you!”
Beyond her sight she heard the ever loudening sound of sleigh bells.  They came to an abrupt stop and before her sat the cold, stern face of The Fashion Witch.



“I come to offer you cheap fashion” cried the witch.  “For the price of one of your garments I can give you a whole season’s wardrobe!
 “But how can this be possible?!” exclaimed the blonde.  “I save for weeks to buy a new piece of clothing to add to my wardrobe.
“Oh stupid child” the witch retorts “Why should you wish to add to your wardrobe? Just buy cheap and you can have a completely new one every season.”
“But how is this possible?” repeated the blonde.
The Witch threw back her head with a haughty laugh! “It’s possible child because we make it possible. We keep slaves in faraway lands to weave inferior cloth. Then small children sew them into high fashion garments guaranteed to last for at least the occasion they were bought for! 


These children work relentlessly for a bowl of rice a day and sleep underneath their sewing machines.  And if the child should become ill or dies, no problem, we replace it with another one!”
 “But this sounds immoral!” says the blonde.
“Foolish incoherent girl” retorts the witch, “these are the very wheels that make the world of fashion turn!”
“But wouldn’t it be better” replied the blonde “to make good quality clothes that will last?  I have some that were passed to me from my mother and I treasure them.  And then the people who make them could be paid a decent living wage!"
“Insolent, silly blonde half-ling" chided the witch “don’t try to change things; this is how the world works! I can see I’m wasting my time here!!”  and with that the witch cracked her whip and the sleigh sped off.

The satyr’s glazed eyes stared at the girl “You are very brave to make a stand against the fashion witch!”

The blonde turned and retraced her footsteps in the snow.  Soon she found herself back in the comfort of her wardrobe.  She began to feel the softness of the silk, wool and linen. As she ventured further she could smell the comforting scent of her mother’s perfume on her most coveted garments. She was home.




No comments:

Post a Comment